Sanj's Blog

Facebook

Im getting a bit bored of facebook lol, first I was dead against it, reluctantly I joined (well no one dragged me there I made it there myself). I was watching the programme about Facebook on the BBC and it was interesting on many levels. First the creator Zuck worked damn hard to get Facebook to where it is today, he faced lawsuits, bids from gigantic companies to become one of the most used sites in the world. I like the fact that his company is full of people who enjoy sitting at a computer surfin the net all day and now get paid for it!! He is very hands on (his desk is with everyone elses) he looks geeky and is mega rich lol! Dont think anyone could have predicted how rich he would become and how quickly! I havent watched the Social Network, i tried to watch it but after the first ten minutes I got bored!

One issue that crops up a lot is the privacy issue on facebook. I doubt you can ever be certain that all your private information and data is not accessed by others.  I can understand the use of advertisements that target certain people, that they collate information that you have which specifically show products that you may like or have previously bought, but we do have a choice as to whether we click on these advertisements or ignore them. I think they will keep adding annoying features to FB until people accept it or will rebel and leave.

If you are on it for more than 2 hours a day you need to get a life. If you are using fb for fitna then you need to get a life. If you are not who you really are - if your online persona is a far cry from what you are really like then you need to get a life. If you add people you hardly know and dont event talk to them when you see them socially then you need to get a life. If you add random strangers in the hope that you will be good friends then you need to get a life. If you are an adult that enjoys playing facebook games just because you have no actual real friends then you need to get a life!!!If you have hundreds of friends on your fb and none of these have given you

Personally I use facebook to keep in touch with my friends but I am also prescribed to many islamic groups/organisations pages so when I do log in I get a lot of useful information(in the form of ahadith and ayahs) and  sometimes a few lines of inspiration which is what I need first thing in the morning when I wake up !! Although now I am finding that people are just recycling their statuses!!

Facebook is also good for people who need to promote something whether it it their own products or an event they want people to attend. You can target people lol that you think may want to go to the event or benefit from your goods and services  which is an opportunity to reach many people you probably never could have reached before!

Facebook is also good to track down lost people ( in case you were wondering what happened to all the dropouts you knew at school!!

 

Over............... (please fill in the blanks)

I have just had a fun packed, enjoyable, stress free 10 days off work (if you include bank holidays and weekends as Xmas and New Year fell on the weekend).

I have managed to fit in amongst other things, an Islamic event,  much needed family time (with sides of the family),volunteering my services for a workshop for young people, researching the family tree and some much needed retail therapy as well as promoting and assisting my daughther in her cupcake venture!

On the downside, I intended to catch up on some work at home, but due to me being engaged in more fun activities such as those described above (and largely to my age old habit of procrastinating), I havent done any work so now I will face the stress of it tomorrow at work! I have managed to do a little , but not as much as I hoped!Also on the negative I have managed to OVER spend, OVER eat, OVER indulge in too much TV, time wasting etc and OVER heat due to the freezing weather, hence the title of my blog post!

Yes I am looking forward to going back to work partly because I enjoy my job so much (even despite the stress) and I think I need a break now from the family! I will be glad when my son goes back to school on Wednesday as he hasnt done much!

Islamic marriage not recognised in the UK

There was an interesting article in the MEN which can be accessed via the link:

http://menmedia.co.uk/asiannews/news/s/1468871_prince-used-fake-name-over-baby

Unfortunately the sensational headline and the article itself does not do the story justice. I read the case and the judgment on the law database Lawtel. Basically the lady in question El-Gamal wanted the Court to recognise that a nikah (islamic marriage ceremony) had taken place with the Dubai prince in a hotel in London with the two employees of the Prince as the male witnesses. The Prince did not appear in Court making the excuse that he needed to be somewhere for a 'summit'. The two employees did not turn up either, although it was not questioned as to why they did not turn up or their whereabouts.

The lady wanted the Court to recognise the nikah as being valid, if so then in turn as a Wife she would be entitled to ask for a divorce or nullity (to declare the marriage void) - giving her the opportunity to then claim maintenance payments from her ex

The Judge accepted on the basis of the wife's testimony only, (as the Prince did not attend) that a ceremony did take place but because there was nothing in WRITING then the intention behind it could not have been to create a marriage contract, as an Imam or any Muslim would not allow the marriage to take place without something in writing.

This is interesting because if the Judge did allow it, it would open the floodgates for similar claims to be made that a marriage took place when clearly there wasnt. The islamic nikah ceremony requires two male witnesses to be present from the bride's side to witness and sign the marriage contract. There must also be a dowry to the bride from the groom. Although this does not need to be monetary it is normally a certain amount which can also be recorded in the marriage contract.

I recently attended my first civil ceremony in Manchester, and before the bride and groom were married, the Registrar reminded them that a marriage contract is something that is legal and meant to be legally binding in every sense in English law! As someone who deals with divorce on a daily basis at work, this is paramount! I have been to many Islamic marriages performed at the mosque, and the Imam is very careful to explain to the bride (especially if she was not born a Muslim) the implications of entering into a marriage, the terms of the marriage contract and the dowry. This is then completed when all parties sign the marriage contract. The Imam then advises both parties to have a civil ceremony!

Although most relationships that end in an Islamic marriage dont involve Saudi princes it is worth bearing in mind the above when considering marriage to someone which has not been arranged by a relative or friend! As you dont know what will happen!

We also advise clients that their Islamic marriage still needs to be dissolved either by the Imam or by talaq (pronouncement of the divorce) and that their English marriage may take slightly longer to obtain by the English law than the Islamic way.

The Judge then decided that the marriage could not be made null and void as it was a 'non marriage'. In other words I can not end your marriage if I dont believe you were married in the first place!

For an islamic nikah to be recognised as legal and binding in the UK, the nikah must be performed in a country where the nikah is legally recognised as a marriage contract between two partners!

 

Life as a trainee solicitor (2)

You often hear people saying that solicitors earn a lot of money and that they are in the wrong profession/career  (usually client's when they receive their bills). Well, it is easy for someone to make that comment but they don't realise how difficult it is to become a solicitor, the costs of getting a degree, funding the Legal Practice Course and the difficulties in securing a training contract.

I am one year now into my training contract and I am absolutely enjoying 85% of the work I do! Occasionally I have to deal with problems that are usually dealt with by Citizen's Advice, but as these are all slowly but surely being closed down by the Government, many people are not sure what to do when faced with a legal problem! Problems I have come across include debt recovery, parking offences/tickets, bailiffs and certain energy providers overcharging their customers for one reason or another! More often than not these legal problems can be dealt with by the CAB or even the client but unfortunately it is become increasingly common for debt recovery agents, energy providers and bailiffs to IGNORE everything that the average Joe Public says - its only when you instruct a solicitor that they take you seriously! Which is where we come in!

The above work can be a bit boring sometimes, especially when you are just not getting anywhere.

On the plus side I have managed to come across some interesting areas in family law that I have enjoyed this year as well as increasing my knowledge in civil litigation.

Alhumdulillah, this year has also gone really quick for me and I have learnt so much, I am truly grateful and blessed to have a training contract as I know how difficult it is in this day and age to get a tc.

I also just found out I passed two of the compulsory subjects on the PSC (professional skills course) which leaves me with half the course to complete before November 2012.

Should we be free to express our religion in public?

I would say Yes.  This was the subject a number of short pieces on Channel 4 last week. Christians, Sikh and Muslims were featured and a religion practiced by a group of Chinese people in China. Being Chinese, I never heard of the religion but could understand that they are not allowed to express their religion in public due to the Chinese government.

The Islamic viewpoint focussed on the hot topic of the 'veil', burka that covers the face, not the hijab which covers the hair.

http://www.4thought.tv/themes/should-we-be-free-to-express-our-religion-in-public/laura-stuart

The above link is a sister called Laura, who I dont know personally but who regular sends me emails on current affairs that affect Muslims.

The link below is a Muslim who opposes the veil and says that this practice should be banned in Britain, his name is Taj Hargey

http://www.4thought.tv/themes/should-we-be-free-to-express-our-religion-in-public/taj-hargey#

You can draw your own conclusions on the above and join in the debate at channel 4.

My own personal view is that yes Sister Laura should be able to dress the way she wants to, the fact that it may offend someone because they find it oppressive that is entirely up to them. I do not cover my face, but at the same time respect those ladies who choose to cover their faces. Although I cannot fully understand at times why they would want to do that, it doesnt mean that I dont think they should be allowed to. Yes they should be able to dress how they want as long as it is not a danger to themselves and it does not stop them from interacting with others. Sister Laura is very articulate and intelligent mashaAllah and very active in many areas of work, she does not sit at home, oppressed, unable to do anything, her clothing is an expression of her belief and it does not prevent her from doing what she needs to do.

A Christian lady once came to the mosque and told me quite openly that she found it offensive when she saw women dressed like that and that the woman must be very arrogant to think that her husband could not control himself if he saw her face. My answer to that was that I would be equally offended if I saw a woman dressed half naked walking down the street with everyone gawping at her. That would make me feel uncomfortable seeing a woman dressed in that way! You see this on a Friday/Saturday night in town centres everywhere! Although I would agree that the veil is not for me as I feel it would attract more attention to my appearance, I can totally understand why some sisters would adapt it. For them their dress is not the be all and end all of their existence. Many ladies who cover up choose to do so from their own choice, not the man of the house!

Taj Hargey is a bloke trying to dictate public policy on how women should dress! He is not unlike the majority of men who tell their womenfolk to dress provactively or do not object to them dressing in a certain way...treating women like objects.

This debate has being going on for a while now.....I remember having lovely discussions with fellow bloggers in Australia and the USA over religion, good times, as long as you respect the other person's opinion!

Policy research on Madrassas

For those who dont know, a madrassa is not a hot curry its the Arabic word  translated as 'school'- recent media attention has focussed on Madrassas as being breeding grounds for radicalisation of Muslims and child abuse after programmes like Dispatches showed undercover camera footage showing children being beaten by their teachers.

The research and end report is here if anyone wants to read it :

http://www.ippr.org/images/media/files/publication/2011/11/inside-madrassas_Nov2011_8301.pdf

I have briefly read through the summary and findings and I will let you all draw your own conclusions based on your experiences and whether you have ever attended a madrassa.

My kids have always attended madrassa from a young age, I remember my daughter absolutely hated it, she would scream and cry and not let go of my hand, but I think that was partly due to my lack of understanding as to what is taught there, which is one of the findings in this report.

It was discovered that many people did not know what a madrassa was, and what is taught there, their existing views/perceptions were largely based on what the media has reported. When I speak to non-Muslims who come to visit the mosque I explain to them what the madrassa is and what the children learn.

As a child I went to Chinese school on Sunday, so it is easy to draw the comparison there, where children at madrassa learn a different language, the language of the Quran, they learn how to read it and sometimes write it. In addition they learn Islamic Studies and how to pray.

The report also makes recommendations that the standard of teaching should be monitored and addtional training should be given, with many teachers not qualified to teach. I would agree that this issue definitely needs to be addressed but I would also argue that if you want good qualified teachers to teach you need to pay them the appropriate salary. As many madrassas are funded by the parents who send their children there, funds are usually low and this is reflected in the standard of teaching. Although there is a great reward for a person to teach another something about Islam, it is nice to be paid also for the time they have spent, many teachers work for minimum wage and some even do not get paid.

I briefly taught Islamic studies to a bunch of teenage girls about 7 -8 years ago at my local madrassa and I found it frustrating on many levels. Firstly the girls were at different ages and levels, secondly by 5.30 when I took over from the class, they are not in the mood to be taught anything! I tried my best and realised that although I had sufficient skills to teach them what was required, I did not have the skills to teach, which requires patience! That is one of the problems that the teachers have is they are usually quite strict due to their own experience of madrassa and they usually can not teach as they have not been trained adequately! Of course there are exceptions to the rule I am just speaking from experience.

Another 'finding' was the concerns about child abuse, which again was initially raised due to the Dispatches programme. Again from experience, I have seen children disciplined at madrassa and it is not nice. I personally would object to this, but many parents do not object which again increases the problem to some extent as it is ignored. Children then get the impression that they either deserved it or their parents do not care enough to do anything about it.

Madrassa teachers do not have to have CRB checks but again this is something I would think is necessary due to the contact they have with children. The madrassa my children attend have carried out full CRB checks on all teaching staff which I think they should be recognised for as they are taking a step in the right direction.

Parent involvement is necessary and the madrassas who do have high numbers of parental involvement usually did well. Again there is a tendency for some parents to just drop their children off and pick them up from madrassah not really caring what they are being taught and just using it as a babysitting tool, these are probably the same parents who are not actively involved in their child's education at school! Our madrassa has started to invite parents to parent's day assemblies but I think they still have a long way to go before they get to where they should be in terms of involving the parents.

It  seems a shame that the 2000 odd madrassas in the UK cannot see for themselves the problems that they are facing and try to find solutions to them before the government make policies to ensure that they are regulated and their recommendations are enforced! Incidentally, the report found no evidence to link radicalisation with what was taught at madrassa!

Lets hope that the report will benefit Muslims (as opposed to making the situation more difficult for us) who are involved in the madrassa whether as a student, teacher or parent.

 

Voluntary work

I recently received an email from an old contact of mine when I used to do a lot of volunteering in the local community, asking me to get involved in a local project. Although I absolutely love my job, this made me reminisce on the good old times, before I had a proper full time job, when I used to be able to volunteer to benefit in the community. The satisfaction and buzz you get out of doing voluntary work is huge. Many small voluntary groups rely heavily on volunteers to organise and run their activities.

Over the years, I have met loads of lovely people in the course of volunteering. Although many people have left their positions due to government cuts, there are many still working in the community, many go unrecognised and they dont work long hours for free for the glory they do it to make a difference to the community.

You often see these unsung heroes on programmes like 'The Secret Millionaire', who always manage to find these people wherever they decide to place their millionaire. Many communities rely on the help of small local groups to provide them with services.

I hope to continue to do my bit in the community inshaAllah albeit in a smaller role.  I hate to say the words I am too busy and I absolutely hate saying no to people so if I can help I will do my best to help.

Incidentally, I replied to the email and passed on some contacts for that person!

Dynamo

In partnership with the jinn - enough said, no need to look for any further explanations how he manages to freak people out up close. For those who do not understand concept of the unseen and how magic harms human beings - sometimes ignorance is bliss - unfortunately the way people get freaked out by his tricks is part of the entertainment for some people .

Programme: The Truth about adoption

I dont have much time for tv programmes, but this week I have managed to watch a few interesting programmes, the first one was on BBC 4 and was called the "Truth about Adoption". I was interested to learn more about adoption as I recently helped a friend through the adoption process.

As I watched the programme I felt a mix of emotions, sadness at the poor innocent chidlren who are dragged from one place to another one foster home to another, separated from their siblings, living in hope that someone will adopt them, wondering why their 'birth parents' are no longer on the scene. As the kids grow older they face disappointment, uncertainty and confusion.

You have the social services trying to do their best for the children trying to ensue that they are placed with the right family - what surprised me was that the adoption process is not finalised immediately - adoptive parents can change their mind if they feel it isnt working, 'bith parents' can oppose the adoption and if good enough reasons are submitted can stip the adoption altogether, that does not mean they can have their children back, it just means they are placed back into the adoption process!

Since the Baby P scandal, social services are much more vigilant and careful at the same time, I wonder if they are being over cautious in some cases  - once the children are in the system, they are known to the authorities.

On the other side I felt angry that the 'birth parents' would allow them to get into such a dire situation that the children are taken into care - some people are just not equipped to be good parents, some people one paired with others, have abusive, violent relationships.

I didnt realise that in some cases, the'birth parents' are allowed to see their children for the last time before they are officially adopted - as a mother I can not begin to imagine how awful that must be to say goodbye to your own children, let alone be told that you must not contact the children ever again. How did you get yourself into this mess?

It's the kids at the end of the day that suffer.

One poor boy could not understand who he was and why he was awaiting to be adopted - the social worker then explained to him in the most sensitive way she could that he was neglected by his parents as a child and they could not look after him properly. The child is then told that he can see  his birth mother for half an hour,  as he wasnt successfully adopted. Imagine the confusion of this poor boy, hes waiting to be adopted (along with his two younger sisters),  the adoption goes pear shaped and is not successful, he is told more information about adoption as he was getting older and asking lots more questions. He also gets to see his birth mum, supervised of course, who has also missed him terribly. The children are then removed to North Manchester, with their future uncertain. Totally confused.

In this day and age, it is very easy to become a parent - to father a child, - but the real test is not how much you love  your children (as I am in no doubt these  birth parents did) but it is how you are going to take care of them and bring them up. To instill these values in children: to be good citizens, to help others , to be able to empathise with others, these are all skills that parents should encourage at a young age.

 

Life as a trainee solicitor (1)

If you are one of the lucky law graduates who have secured a training contract you will be aware that you need to complete your PSC (Professional Skills Course) at least a month before you apply to go on the role as a solicitor.  There are many who leave this to the last minute and end up doing the whole requisite 20plus hours in the space of a month which can not only be tiring but very stressful.

When I began to study law I was very worried that I would not be able to cope, as many people have told me that studying law was very difficult, alhumdulillah I managed to get through my law degree though at times, it was hard getting to grips with land law and equity and trusts.

Tne next stage of training is to do the LPC Legal Practice Course, I did mine full time for a year and it was to say the least very intense the work itself was not difficult to grasp but the actual volume of work was difficult to cope with and the work was relentless. When you get to the last half of the course it becomes much more relaxed and less stressful.

Then it is the training contract - the thing all trainees are working towards.

I have started my PSC one year into my training contract and I completed one of the compulsory modules last week. I have been told by many people that it would not be too difficult but I was naturally stressed over the exam at the end of the two day course.

I have spread my elective and compulsory modules out between now and July so I dont have to do everything at the last minute.  I covered Financial Services and Business and I have never come across so many acronyms!!The course felt like Uni, the thing I enjoyed most at uni was attending the lectures and discussing the work after, it was difficult for me to concentrate though this time around maybe due to the rooms or the room temperature or maybe it was just the subject matter being discussed!

The actual course is not cheap but as its compulsory I dont think you have a choice!!

 

Some things will never change......

I thought I would sign in again, as my daughter is looking at setting up a blog to promote her cupcake business .... so I am reading through my posts and thinking did I really write that??

What was I thinking :) Well actually I was thinking why don't I have the time to post stuff. I think since the blogs began we have been invaded by Facebook and Twitter which encourages us to just say a few lines... and we are bombarded with so much information via these social media that we can't be bothered to read an article... I must admit I am guilty of the same but I do get the odd long email with lots of information that I will read (via my blackberry), but never pass onto anyone as it would involve me logging onto my email account and forwarding.... for that reason I hardly send out the 'fwd' emails unless absolutely necessary - I have a facebook account yes I admit,  but have limited it to people that I actually know and talk to normally and use it for updates which are beneficial and useful reminders for me...

Majority of my time now is spent working and when I am not working family...although again I must confess I havent quite got the work-life balance right yet as I do spend many evenings working on work-related stuff whether it's professional development or legal research!!

I still procrastinate a lot which I think will never change......less said the better methinks:)

My uzi is still the same, challenging me daily as a mother :) although most of the time I am glad he keeps me on my toes, life would be too easy without the odd parenting challenge - subhanAllah

I dont have much time increasing my Islamic knowledge as I wish I could i still attend study circles and when I can attend weekend courses but I rarely sit down to read a good book on a specific topic I would love to do that more inshAllah.....

Still active in the community, I love to do my bit and get involved any which way I can, the situation with my local masjid is more or less the same they outlaw women haha ok they let us in but not to make decisions! It is frustrating sometimes the lack of progress but I suppose Rome was not built in a day!!

Still living in the same mini house as when I started bloggin in 2006! Maybe it is time for a change with this one?!!